End of the Semester
So this semester has been interesting to say the least. I made some poor choices last semester which led me back to school this semester and yet again I seem to be making some of those same choices that could possibly lead me back into school for yet another semester. I feel like I will never attain my bachelors degree at the rate I’m going. The biggest issue is not necessarily the choices I’m making but why I’m making those choices. To be completely honest I’m not sure why I’m making those choices. Some of my guesses would be that I’m scared of what the future holds, I just don’t care anymore, or better yet I’m so sick and tired of school and all the work that comes with it that I wish I didn’t have to be in classes anymore. The most sensible answer would be that I’m afraid of what the future holds, but I honestly don’t think that is why I am making the choices I am which is keeping me from attaining my degree. As this semester is winding down I’m realizing that if I really want to get out of here I’m going to have to seriously bust my butt to get there or I won’t see my degree for awhile. Now because the semester is almost ending the next problem would be the motivation. I’m really just ready for the break and ready to be done with school for a month. So my motivation is seriously lacking.
On top of all this I have pressure coming from my parents that really just drags me down even more. I know that they love me but sometimes I feel like they wish I was a perfect little child that could do anything and everything. I just feel like I’m always being pulled down by not only others by myself as well. I saw this quote about 2 months ago and it really hit hard: “We carry these things inside us that no one else can see, they weigh us down like anchors, they carry us out to sea.” This is how I feel way to many times in my life. Not just now but a lot more than I would like to admit. One day I will be able to fully open up and let someone in and understand what I’ve been going through but for now it stays inside.